Something I’ve come to discover in my journey of understanding my depression and anxiety is that you are a product of your environment and ones primary socialization is crucial in shaping who you become.
Sometimes I will say this and people seem bored by it, they think it to be clichéd nonsense but I can assure you it is not.
Young children who were brought up in a negative environment, like myself with clearly depressed parents, are more likely to develop anxiety, depression and so on. I am just one of these people.
Not to get too philosophical, but I am a strong determinist, which essentially states we are not free beings. The reason I say this is to not dishearten you but to suggest that once you understand the cause of your illness, if it does route in environmental causes and not biological or genetic for example, you will feel anger and resentment to those who may have caused it. I mainly felt this towards my father. You will feel this resentment because you’re hurt, you’re angry, you’re irritated by how people have shaped who you are today. But what I must say is that once you accept you HAD no control this is when you get the control back. Once you accept that your childhood, well that’s what it was for me, is what has shaped and caused your mental illness this is when you can begin to uncover why, how, when all these billions of questions that go through your mind when you’re lying in bed at night unable to sleep because you see no point in waking up.
It will be hard to accept that whatever you experienced at a younger age or maybe even 5 months ago, whatever it was, it will be hard to accept that that event may have triggered, formed, shaped, caused (whatever you want to call it) your depression and/or anxiety. But that is the whole concept of life; cause and effect. Please do not let is dishearten you. Gain the power back. Gain the knowledge. Acknowledge it. And work towards a better and stronger you. Use it to your advantage. And share your story with the world.
We are all a product of our environment. Let your environment change you for the better. Take back the power.