You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with – Jim Rohn

In my battling and managing of depression and anxiety I have truly grasped how true a statement this is. It helped me discover that you really are a product of your environment (a previous post I have blogged). A significant feature of this statement is that something the people you may spend the most time with may not actually be the best for you. If you are depressed and commonly surrounded by depressed or negative people it can make you worse. Even If you aren’t depressed yet still constantly surrounded by negative people in general it really can bring you down. The atmosphere can fill you with dread, anger, annoyance, frustration, pity, sadness any negative emotion. For me I live in this low, negative environment and am constantly surrounded with ‘this is rubbish! I can’t do that! This good thing will never happen to me!’ As a result of this, because it’s all I have ever been surrounded with, I became just like that. Until one day I opened my eyes and began to recognise what I had been consumed by. Sometimes, it’s not that easy to escape, and believe me I know this. However, there are things you can do to challenge it. When you hear these negative comments or merely feel a negative energy don’t let it overpower you! Why does the negative have to overpower the positive? Quite literally, screw that! You have the power in you to challenge it. There are a few ways I’ve practiced that you can try too:

1)      Whoever states a negative comment challenge what they say and offer them the ‘facts’, it may make them feel better thus making you feel better too.

2)      However if they dismiss it, just nod your head and carry on (you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped). But remind yourself of the facts that you just told them. It will enable you to maintain a positive frame of mind. And become good practice so if you have a bad day you’ll remember to ‘compare the facts’ too.

3)      If the energy becomes a bit too negative and low for you and you feel it bringing you down do what you can to leave it, even for ten minutes or so; perhaps sit in the garden, do some yoga, practice breathing, read a book. Get back into your own element and soak up your OWN positive vibes before their negative vibes eat you up.

4)      Write. Writing has been my hero this past year. Any time I hear a negative comment, feel a negative energy or receive any indifference from those in a low mood I write what they said and moan about it until it’s out and I can move on from it. We as humans bottle emotion up and eventually we’re so down and upset we don’t even really know why. Writing things down is a great and healthy way ‘log’ what bothered us, assess it and move on.

I have no idea whether you have or are in a similar situation to mine, maybe you know someone who is, but these little things I’ve discovered really, really help. And I hope they do with you too.

Hopefully, for me, I’ll be off to university soon so I won’t have to be so surrounded by it for much longer. Fingers crossed!

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4 thoughts on “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with – Jim Rohn

  1. Nice ideas! I’m also struggling with the influences of the negative environment and the worst thing is that I can’t really escape it as it’s the people from my family… I’ve also heard about the method of writing things out. It does help indeed!

    • Mine is my family too. I completely understand. It can be very, VERY draining but constantly try and pull yourself back in to your positive, happy vibes and don’t let them consume you because you deserve better than that!
      Once I started to become aware of how irrational their thoughts, feelings and emotions were, and how they were dismissing my help, it did make me a lot more angry and hostile but I just kept reminding myself of the true fact ‘you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.’

      • I totally agree! In the end, you cannot force anyone to be happy. For me, it’s also helpful when I surround myself with positive and uplifting stuff – books, music, movies. You always have a choice with that 🙂

      • Definitely! Artistic mediums are so so helpful. I adore cinema and it’s something I aim to go and work in so film has definitely been a rock and escape for me. I’m glad you grasp onto these:)

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