Social Comparison and The Inner Bully

In life, we all look at other people and compare ourselves to them. Even animals do it, to see which ones they can fight and win and those who they need to avoid. In depression, it is a relentless and constant thing which goes on in our mind and we always look at those who we see as ‘better’ and take characteristics from them and compare them to ourselves and then here comes the ‘inner bully’. This is when you attack yourself, when you bully yourself for not being just like them. For instance ‘she got the promotion and I didn’t there is obviously something wrong with me and I’m a failure…’ or ‘she’s far skinnier than me are and I bet she has a lovely boyfriend and I have nobody because I’m fat and ugly’ or ‘he comes from a good family, well educated, I didn’t get that because I don’t deserve it’. I still do this A LOT. I can become so filled with envy and self-hatred. But what we need to understand is, a few things really, they could be looking back at us and doing the same thing; just because we don’t or didn’t have X doesn’t mean that we don’t deserve the best (remember, compare the facts to your reality) and acceptance that we are all different in some aspects but we are all unified in that we are all human therefore imperfect. We may have something another person doesn’t, just as much as someone may have something we do not. It’s about time we acknowledge, embrace and feel proud for the positive attributes we have. And we all have them because we’re all human.


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