The Creation of Your Anxiety

I spend so much time worrying that the worst should happen. I become obsessed with it. I build the scenario in my mind and convince myself it’s happening it is just taking its time for me to know about it. I wake up with a panic in my heart and a lump in my throat, I feel how I felt when I was being bullied in Junior school; that overwhelming fear of what the bullies were going to do today.
Why? Why do I do this?
Maybe I am not over the bullies. All my anxiety is people driven; the fear of someone starting an argument, the fear of someone betraying me, the fear of losing someone. I’ve been bullied twice. Maybe this causes my anxious thoughts. However, this isn’t the only genesis, I create my own anxieties. I don’t remind myself of reality and the facts that I know now, I don’t remind myself of my inner strength that I have built, I don’t remind myself of any of this. I thrive to prepare myself for the worst (even though I am never prepared if it should happen.) I spend my time in the potential world and not in the real world. I don’t know how to get out.

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