The complete loss of faith is something you cannot describe. Only try to describe. The only people who can understand are those who have lost it too. The powerful desire to end your life, when you look back, it is a perpetually frightening memory and sometimes we look back and think ‘was that really me’? It feels like we’re thinking about someone else. Someone who did die. Someone who haunts us at night and reminds us of the moment, or what we can remember of it. The blurred vision. The inability to walk. Speak. Connect the words to voice how low you feel. The failure to present your fear. Your desperation for love. Help and guidance. The desire to know that you are not alone. The blurs around you appear like judgemental monsters and the world becomes cruel as you feel it slip from your hands, from your heart and into an unforgettable nightmare. The aching stomach, the splitting head, the fragmented mind and the horrendous images. The anger of life but the desperation for love. There is nothing but confusion, hatred and desperation. Do you want to leave the world or do you want the world to understand you? Do you want to live or do you want to die? Do want to sleep and never wake up or keep on breathing? You forget who you are. You forget what you’ve done. You’ve forget who you’ve been. You forget what has hurt you. You forget what has made you. You become a shell filled with so many emotions but the only one you desire isn’t present – happiness.
Death does not offer happiness.
Death does not offer escape.
Death is irreversible, and this is not the answer.
Death is not the answer for your pain.
Look within and find the answer.
The one entity.
The one being.
The one person who can take your pain away and replace it with happiness, you.
If you want to be happy, if you want to escape, if you want change, if you want to eradicate your pain YOU can, death cannot.
Be active in fighting your pain, changing it, reversing it, challenging it and managing it.
Do not cut it at the source, because you will end your own potential to live a happy life.
One day, not every day will be a battle.