When my depression ‘kicks in’ per se, I know about it because it fuels my anxiety, causes extreme paranoia and crippling low self-esteem. I begin to feel like the world is against me, everyone is against me, people aren’t really being nice to me they’re pretending to be, almost like they’re plotting against me and hate me, they want to hurt me. When I think about that it feels how I literally felt when I was being bullied in junior school, and perhaps that is a cause of it, I never really got over what the bullies did to me. I was bullied because I was ‘different’ I dressed ‘differently’ listened to ‘different’ music and the kids didn’t seem to like that. When you’re junior school you don’t really expect to be beaten up for being different by other children who are like 10/11, but I was. I seemed to have held onto this notion that people are against me and I can’t trust anyone. It’s an unhealthy obsession. I just don’t know how to let it go.